Transitioning In Transition: How to Practice Gender-Affirming Self Care During Big Life Changes

By Vic Gipson, BSW Intern

For many transitioning folks, it can be hard to celebrate transition milestones during times of great life changes. Balancing adapting to the challenges of transitioning out of adolescence with the challenges of gender transition on social, medical, and cultural fronts is no easy task. Starting a new job, joining a new school, making a large move, or making new friends as a gender-expansive person can feel stressful, complicated, and overwhelming.Below, we have a few ways you can share your pride while still feeling in control of your journey into adulthood.

Track your progress. With schedule changes coming from enrollment in new schools, jobs, and other commitments, it becomes tougher to recall certain milestones. Take time to jot down dates that are important to you, such as your coming out date, when you began HRT, when you had surgery, when you got your name changed, and any other dates that carry meaning for your transition (as applies to your experience). Keeping record of these milestones can be uplifting as you move forward in your transition, reminding you of how far you’ve come, as well as providing hope toward future goals you may have. Many trans folks have adopted the practice of filming clips stating “My name is [NAME] and this is me [TIME PERIOD] on [HORMONE]”, as well as filming/photographing other similar transition timelines. The practice of compiling this media allows individuals to view how they’ve changed physically and emotionally over time, encouraging “self-reflection, creation, and exploration of personal identity” (Deshane, 2014).

New introductions mean new beginnings. Starting at a new school or new job comes with the exciting opportunity of allowing you a clean slate introduction-wise. Practice introducing yourself in a way that feels comfortable and authentic. Following new introductions, you can be affirmingly addressed and live as your most confident self. Remember that you are the author of your own story, so share your name with pride. Also, there is no shame in politely correcting someone if they call you by a name or pronoun that you do not align with. You have every right to be addressed correctly and have your preferences respected. Refusing to acknowledge a trans person’s preferred name and pronouns contributes to risk of “stigma, discrimination, and harassment” as well as damaging that individual’s “sense of comfortability and psychological safety”, equated to the discomfort of witnessing a microaggression related to one’s identity (Ross, Kinitz, and Kia, 2022).

Present comfortably. New beginnings can also mean new style! Try out different clothing, hairstyles, cosmetics, mannerisms, and other alterations that allow you to explore how you wish to be seen (Whitington, 2024). Many people change appearances between grade levels and/or post graduation, so you won’t be the odd one out for shaking things up. Don’t sweat it if you don’t maintain your first change in presentation- not every style will be a hit for you and that’s okay.

Put yourself out there. As you enter new spaces, look into ways you can safely participate in social opportunities, such as sport teams, recreational clubs, or meet ups (Whitington, 2024). Social groups will help you build a support circle and bond with your new community. Many colleges and universities have LGBTQ+ specific support groups and clubs that can pair you with other students sharing similar life experiences. At new employers, it can be more challenging to spot allies, but initiating conversations over shared hobbies and interests is a great way to work toward learning coworker values.

Why is gender-affirmation important? Studies show “a considerable decrease in suicidal ideation following commencement of gender-affirming treatment” as well as “family support toward the transition of gender-dysphoric children leading to normative levels of depression and decreased or minimal elevations in anxiety” (Zaliznyak et al. 2021). In opposition to this, intentional misgendering, incorrect pronoun usage, and deadnaming cause feelings of “unsafety, harm, and disrespect” (Sevelius et al., 2020). As communities observe the stressors of transitioning from adolescence to adulthood, it is important to choose allyship as to not add on to this complex time in young folks’ lives. Trans youth becoming adults should take time to look after themselves, honoring their identities and picking up affirming practices that bring them the most joy.

References

Deshane, E. (2014). This Is My Voice: Youtube and the Transgender Voice Autobiography. The Atlantic.

Ross, L., Kinitz, D., and Kia, H. (2022). Pronouns Are A Public Health Issue. American Journal of Public Health. 112(3). 361. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2021.306678

Sevelius, J., Chakravarty, D., Dilworth, S., Rebchook, G., & Neilands, T. (2020). Gender Affirmation through Correct Pronoun Usage: Development and Validation of the Transgender Women's Importance of Pronouns (TW-IP) Scale. International journal of environmental research and public health, 17(24), 9525. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17249525

Whitington, R. (2024). Your Guide to the Age Recommendations During Transitioning. Healthline. 

Zaliznyak, M., Yuan, N., Bresee, C., Freedman, A., & Garcia, M. (2021). How Early in Life do Transgender Adults Begin to Experience Gender Dysphoria? Why This Matters for Patients, Providers, and for Our Healthcare System. Sexual Medicine, 9(6). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.esxm.2021.100448